Sexism hates you? Really?! (Photo credit: rrho)
The United Methodist Church just wrapped up the 2012 General Conference in Tampa, FL.
I’m glad.
You see, our denomination was starting to fray at the edges — and in some places very near the center.
I found myself disgusted by some of the content I’ve been reading in blogs. I’ve been disappointed in clergy colleagues for their snide, snarky, and, in some cases, wrong and disrespectful treatment of others.
One of our problems is that we mistrust our colleagues, our leaders, and our members. I’ve seen blog after blog, tweet after tweet, each proclaiming the willful, organized opposition to the author’s point of view.
Many of our colleagues believe differently, and are just as passionate for their causes as we are. But we must come to terms in our disagreement. We must learn to utilize a common standard for our scholarship and theological inquiry. More importantly, if we are to take each other seriously, and our respective views just as seriously, we must regain an attitude of mutual respect and agape love.
I have to say I’m past disappointed with the racism, sexism, and gender bias I saw from the very folks who were crying out the loudest for equality to finally gain a foothold in our denomination.
Here’s a hint to some of the more outspoken, often younger, and, sometimes, downright rude members of the clergy family. Don’t assume that every white, straight, over-40 male clergy-person is out to a) keep you from having a voice b) stop you from leading the Church and/or c) avoid hearing your points.
When you do that, you sometimes end up offending some not-so-young clergy who were speaking up for your rights before you knew anyone was doing so.
You forget that all of us will be over forty if we live long enough.
Most of all, you seem to forget that by assuming the worst of a person because of their white skin, masculine gender, and middle-to-advanced age, you are stereotyping. And when you choose to act unjustly and justify it with your own sense of righteousness, you end up embracing that which you detest in others.
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Hi Joey,
It was a rough couple of weeks. Yes, a lot of us answered the pain we experienced with pain of our own, and a lot of us used humor or sarcasm to deflect or cope when the situation got tough.
On the subject of sexism, ageism, and racism, I think there’s a difference between naming privilege and retaliating with racism, sexism, etc. It might be a fine line to some, but for me it’s clear and as wide as the grand canyon.
For example: I have on occasion had a prejudice against people with, um, southern accents. I tend to assume that they are going to be more conservative than myself. But lately in my life, I’ve been meeting people who find me conservative (okay moderate. ish) with southern accents. Can’t paint the south with a broad brush. Got it.
I do not believe that all straight white older males are out to oppress other people. But I’ve noticed that a large majority of the people who are arguing against inclusion and protection of things like GCORR and GCOSROW are in fact people I perceive to be white, older, and male. For example, when we debated about sexuality in general, there were 4 female speakers and 25 male speakers– that’s total, both sides of the conversation. That’s not right or wrong in terms of content, but suggests a flawed process by which men have been given more voice. By my unofficial count, all of the people arguing for the dismantling of GCORR and COSROW were white, and about 75% were male.
All this is to say that i think there is a very real problem here. In my committee we debated whether or not people might feel safe speaking and voting when it came to sensitive issues. Every single person who thought we had a safe space was someone I perceived to be a white man. That’s not racism; that’s privilege. They are allowed to feel safe, because they are with the group that hold the power. With power comes responsibility to empower other voices and provide safe space for them.
It’s a nuanced thing, and I feel a blog post coming on (it has to get in line!). I just want to say that my observations abut the way some older white males were holding and wielding power are not a commentary on all white male persons over 60, but a commentary on a system that privileges certain voices over others.
Peace,
Becca
I understand your concerns, Becca. Really, I do. I’ve been raising some of these issues for a while now. I wrote this blog not in defense of a flawed system, but in an effort to process the same sort of dismissive behavior that is at the root of our conversations on both sides.
I agree that the broad brush is bad. I agree that more women and minorities could stand to be involved. I also agree that the system is flawed — but only in that people are flawed.
I disagree with the premise that a white middle-aged man cannot adequately represent a young black woman. I similarly disavow the notion that I cannot be represented fairly by that same young black woman. If a young black lesbian is running for an office and she is better qualified, she should get the position. The problem is when she doesn’t get the position despite being better qualified — or, getting the position when she is not.
While voices are important, I don’t have a problem with 6 women under the age of 35 running an agency. To say that they can’t adequately represent male voices denies their ability to be fully human.
What matters is the integrity of the person. What matters is the ability of the person. What matters is the willingness to seek God’s will.
We seem to have a problem believing that some of the folks in charge are deciding things for the right reasons. We question motives. We assume agendas. We presume guilt.
My exhortation here is for all of our members, clergy and lay, delegate and non-delegate, to fully examine the credentials of a leader, to give full hearing to their words, and to lay aside (as much as any of us can) our prejudices and stereotypes.
We cannot continue to allow ourselves to be deafened by the color of skin, the gender of persons, or the number of rings you might count if you were to cut off a leg.
Galatians 3:28 means everyone or it means no one.
Grace and peace,
Joey
I agree with you, Joey.
During General Conference a (white) clergy member actually tweeted, “Black Christians use faith to survive. White Christians use it to oppress.” That is not only racist and divisive but outlandish!
My favorite tweet was from a black woman who said, “Can we stop racial profiling? All white men are not enemies and All people of color r not victims.” Amen, sister. The best thing we can do for minorities is to stop thinking of them as minorities as start thinking of them as just people.
Stop counting how many black people and white people are in the choir and just enjoy the music.