The Secret to Turning Failure into Victory: Learning from Our Mistakes

Okay, it’s really not a secret. Everyone has heard of learning from our mistakes. But do you know the power of teaching from them? I can tell you this: It doesn’t happen much by accident. Let me boil it down for you.

A mistake isn’t just a failure unless you leave it where it fell. If you learn from it, it is a lesson. If you use it to teach others, it becomes a victory.

Now, that sounds like a fortune cookie or a bit of wisdom from a bathroom wall or something Banksy might write on the side of a building in NYC or London. But it works if you are willing to live it. For that reason, I thought I’d share with you some of my recent blunders and how they became learning and teaching opportunities.

Failing Forward with the Scouts

A few months ago, I discovered that my blood pressure was rising. I visited the doctor who prescribed a daily pill to lower the pressure. But that’s not the failure or the lesson learned. My doctor’s visit wasn’t the only thing that occurred on that Monday. I was also scheduled to teach a class of Cub Scouts that night. But I didn’t. I failed to appear.

Sam Wolf Scout Crossing Over Ceremony (3)

Scouts about the same age as the very nice kids who forgave me. (Photo credit: RobBole)

I asked her for a favor: At the next meeting, would she allow me to drop by and apologize?

She said it wasn’t necessary. I persisted.

When I got to the next meeting, I was red-faced as I walked into the room. But I told them what had happened. And when i got to the part where I said, “I’m sorry I let you down,” the Cub Master said, “And what do we say, boys?

There was a rousing cheer of “THAT’S OKAY!” was the answer. I smiled and said, “No, not really. Your time is just as important as mine, and I wasted yours last week. What I did was wrong, and I’d like you to forgive me.

Then I smiled and said, “Would you forgive me instead? That tells us both that you know what I did was wrong, but now WE are okay.”

Scattered shouts of “I-forgive-you!” peppered the room. And though there were some parents scratching their heads, there were several who looked like they were having an “a-ha” moment.

I was teaching the God & Me class for the boys, so I worked it into the lesson later. They practiced apologizing for errors, and then forgiving one another. They had fun making up offenses. But they genuinely enjoyed hearing,They had fun making up offenses. But they genuinely enjoyed hearing, “I forgive you. We’re okay.”

Mistake: Flaking out under the influence of a new prescription.

Learned Lesson: Set an alarm.

Shared Lesson: Mistakes are not “It’s okay.” Mistakes can be forgiven, though.

So the mistake was minor. The lesson was a repeat. But the shared lesson became a source of a powerful theological truth that strikes at the heart of our “anything goes” culture. “Do what you want, and it’ll be okay” became “Decisions have consequences, but mistakes can be forgiven.

The Preacher in Time-Out

At a meeting last week, I gathered with a few key leaders in the sanctuary of the church. One of our leaders brought his son, a bright-eyed 3-year-old with a ready smile and a thoughtful manner. Halfway through a rather boring meeting (for him), he stood up on the pew behind his father and walked down to the other end.

I smiled, knowing his dad would be a bit embarrassed, but not worried at all. I’m not an authoritarian when it comes to sanctuary behavior.

Then, I realized I was sitting on the back of the pew. I had stood up to face the group and better hear what was said. Without thinking, I had gone from leaning back on the pew behind me to sitting on the back of the pew with my feet in the seat of the pew behind.

Not good. What kind of example was I setting?

Time Out New York Banksy Cover. I guess everything is about Banksy these days… (Photo credit: Scott Beale)

“Jack, I have made a mistake. I forgot that I’m not supposed to sit on the back of the pew or have my feet in the seat. Could you put me time-out for a while and help me remember?”

We were all stifling grins by this point because his eyes were wide.

He nodded, hair flopping. And then he pointed to the pew and said, “Brother Joey, you’re in time-out.” One of the helpful adults reminded him that it’s a minute for every year of age, which meant I was practically spending the night at the church.

Mistake: Don’t sit on the back of the pew, especially if you are grown up, and that goes double for you, Preacher. 🙂

Learned Lesson: You are a constant example to the generations behind you.

Shared Lesson: Even pastors make mistakes, and even children can help us to remember.

Jack didn’t walk away thinking, “Okay, my job is to help the preacher keep his backside off of the furniture.” I think he learned that we are all in this together and we all make mistakes.

Summing Up

The power of a failure that becomes a lesson is unmistakable. And the lessons are clear even with minor gaffes and errors. But if you have a major failure in your past, there is nothing more powerful to share than your story of how you made the comeback with God’s help.

Let me recommend that you stop by www.God-Story.org for some tips on how to tell your story even better. When we take responsibility for our errors, we can turn those into lessons for the people around us.